Friday, December 14, 2007

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Q: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
A: Read various answers below:
(In the COMMENTS section,
please feel free to add your
OWN versions of this Q and A).

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY :
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


and last but not least...........................



VILLAGE OF PLEASANT PRAIRIE leadership:
The chicken is boring. The citizens should not be interested in the chicken. We have taken care of the chicken. Relax, the chicken is fine. Your 'prurient' interest in the chicken is clearly self-serving. WE might let you hear audio recordings of the chicken, but you will not be able to see the chicken video. Stop asking about the chicken, if you insist on asking about the chicken again, you and the chicken will regret it.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

OR:

IMPERIAL STORM TROOPER (From Star Wars):

This isn't the chicken we're looking for. He can go. Move along.

Anonymous said...

Someone is spending too much time choking a chicken.

Anonymous said...

Interesting, the gutter element surfaces once again.

Blazing Saddles:

Chicken? We don't need no stinkin chicken!

Anonymous said...

Tis the season..? Does any of this ring a bell with you? Why don't you nasty grammers just put a sock in it!

My addition:

CONFUCIOUS: Did the chicken cross first or did the egg cross second?

Anonymous said...

You missed your calling.
You should be a teenage guidance counselor because you have the mind of a thirteen year old.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Dear anonymous (and I think most of the nasty anonymous' are the same nasty person),

I will continue to leave your fine comments for all here to see.

So apparently you think that high school guidance counselors are successful due to their 13 Y.O. mentality. Now you are insulting academia too?

Don't you have anything else to do? If you hate this so much as to be able to offer nothing but garbage, please do us all a favor and go away.

Now,

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Anonymous (just before this comment): Gee, I dunno?

Anonymous said...

So the board is a chicken? Why did the board cross the road?

I guess all I can say is..."what? this is the serious conversation about real issuses?"

Where does the funding come from, every month, every week to tape all these meetings?

Anonymous said...

This discussion is getting fowl.

Anonymous said...

I guess the historic event tonight didn't fit your personal agenda so you didn't bother taping the meeting.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

To the just previous "Anonymous" -
I have no agenda except making sure the existing taxpayers of Pleasant Prairie are taken care of FIRST.

Growth is good when controlled and when it ADDS to the local tax rolls.

IF that same growth comes as an EXPENSE to the existing taxpayer, then what benefit is derived except to those DIRECTLY involved in the 'growth'.

Our village government is 'growth'-minded, and I am not opposed to this in a general sense, but around here mostly instead of seeing the burden on the average existing taxpayer decrease it continues to INCREASE over time. What has happened to the concept of efficiency and incremental cost. Perhaps financial guru, "NON COMPRENDE" on-whose-side" Clyde can chime in on this one??

EVERY TIFF means that property tax dollars are being used to pay 'something' off instead of paying for the NEW expenses incurred.

Thankfully, the ABBOTT project will not include school aged children which again would be paid for by someone else until the TIFF is paid off.

This is why I generally am not in favor for TIFF's for residential development -- because the existing taxpayer is going to pay for those types of costs incurred until the TIFF itself gets paid off.

NOW, onto your swipe on the meeting last night.

First off, it's nice to know that my absence was noted. Thank you.

I have a life besides being the Kenosha News monikered "watchdog".

Check out my tax bill and you will see I have to work a lot to pay my property taxes before I can FEED MY FAMILY.

My videotaping of meetings is NOT sanctioned by the village. I do not get the courtesy of being notified of such non-regular meetings. I have planned my schedule so that I can be present for as many REGULAR meetings as I can. This particular meeting was only posted approx 24 hours before it occured from what I have been told.

If YOU are available all the time, perhaps YOU would offer to assist in videotaping such non-regular meetings? IF YOU (and your ilk) are not ready to do so, then I suggest you take your comments elsewhere because it is clear you are not interested JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE GOOD OLE BOYS in actually getting this info out there for citizens to see, but you are using this feable rationale to take a shot at me. If this is the BEST you can do, then I feel sorry for you and your friends.

AGAIN, if this is so distasteful for you, then why do you bother?? Start your own blog so that those with viewpoints like mine have a place to send obnoxious comments like we have afforded you.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Ruth:
I don’t know what your obsession with your chicken, as well as everyone else’s could be derived from, but I have never encountered anyone with such sick, compulsive public displays. I am way too old to take on an enormous project such as you and your chicken.
-vis

Anonymous said...

Which came first the chicken or the road?

Anonymous said...

Confucius say:
He who worry about chicken crossing road must be fowl traveler.

Anonymous said...

John D. Morris, Ph.D.:
"According to the Creator of chickens, and the author of the Record of their origins, chickens came first. It was on the Fifth Day of Creation Week that He created "every winged fowl after [their] kind" (Genesis 1:21)."

Anonymous said...

Alex says:
The chicken came first because the road was built with sin (borrowed) money.
-vis

Anonymous said...

Franz Kafka:
Why is there chicken?

PleasantPrairieWI said...

I am truly glad that some of you are ABLE to have some fun with this.

I is kind of sad that the psychphantic supporters of village hall can't lighten up and have some fun.

Someone once said, if you believe you have learned everything you need to know then you should prepare for death.

I appreciate the light-hearted entries made here, and in a certain way I feel sorry for those that can't find a little room in their hearts for a little leavity.

Merry Christmas to ALL of you.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

I am truly glad that some of you are ABLE to have some fun with this.

I is kind of sad that the psychphantic supporters of village hall can't lighten up and have some fun.

Someone once said, if you believe you have learned everything you need to know then you should prepare for death.

I appreciate the light-hearted entries made here, and in a certain way I feel sorry for those that can't find a little room in their hearts for a little leavity.

Merry Christmas to ALL of you.

Anonymous said...

Happy Holidays to everyone as well.
I'm glad there is enjoyment in this blog, isn't that so much better than the constant bad news and negativity be are being bombarded with daily?
I for one think it is great for the chicken to cross the road, but not the bike trail.

Anonymous said...

Amen to bike trail. Why can't they leave well enough alone? No reason for any chickens to be crossing let alone vipers and snakes.

So why did the Chicken cross the road? If you fire a frozen chicken out of a cannon; not only will it cross a road, it could be a lethal projectile. The simplest explanation is the most likely, now calm down and start behaving rationally.

http://www.chickenjoke.com/

Anonymous said...

Alex,
Your comment as "sov" to the news read & react was highly unprofessional. There are many who are tired of your childish whining & bickering. I surely hope you don't really intent to run again.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Dear last anonymous,

I use my NAME when I respond to things unlike YOU unfortunately.

I am NOT 'sov', and have no idea what you are talking about in terms of read and react -- I imagine this is some reference to a Kenosha News article.

While your concern for my political welfare is welcomed, I wish it sounded more sincere.

YOU are clearly a member of the "the good ole boys can't do anything wrong" club, and have given up independent thinking.

The concerns I have expressed (on many topics) are real to me and many others, and the measures I have taken are what is available when a government chooses to shut out its citizens.

I refuse to be shut out, and I am sorry if your find this 'childish'.

I am sure I could find all sorts of pejorative terms to describe your behavior.

Again, I do not use anonymous monikers, and IF YOU are so confident of your viewpoint, and feel so strongly about your convictions, then PLEASE tell us who you are? Any sad answer about not wanting to stoop so low or such only more firmly plants you in the CLUB, and dilutes your arguments. BE KNOWN!

Signed,
Alex

RAG said...

Beam me up, Scotty. There's no poultry here.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Last anonymous:
I took a look at the Kenosha News and found the reference to 'sov'.
While I am not 'sov', I do think a solid point is made. If Abbott owns the land, and the village has approved, then why any further need for secrecy.
Perhaps you can let us in on that logic?

PleasantPrairieWI said...

RAG,
Thanks for chiming in. I know you don't permit open posting and comments, but this has been interesting hasn't it?

Anonymous said...

Well, well, well. Now we know that Alex is The Chicken...he didn't file to run in this spring's election.

So why didn't The Chicken file the papers? Cause he fowled them in the bottom of his cage.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Dear anonymous,

You continue to be amusing.

As I believe the filing deadline was 5pm today, and since no press coverage has occured yet, how is it that you KNOW that I did not file?

You are too close to the ivory tower for your own good.

Did you want me to run? Against Kumorkiewicz or Serpe? Just for future reference, should I run for Village President again?

Wondering out loud what you think?

Looking forward to your thoughtful response.

RAG said...

Sorry, Charlie (or Charlize or whatever), I don't post anonymously.

In fact, the tenor of comments here illustrates why I moderate them.

Oh well, Jerry Springer gets his guests somewhere.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Dick,
Thanks for making the declaration of non-anonymity. I, personally, am glad that it is not you as suggested above.
Now, the Tuna is called Charlie. I don't know if the chicken has a name.
Finally, although I understand the allergy to the Springer-esque comments, I think its worthwhile to allow posting at will because it shows the REAL sentiments out there.
Maybe Jerry Springer should check into this......

RAG said...

Alex, I always thought it would be cool to have you and John, sr. mud wrestle!

Anonymous said...

How did I know you didn't file? Gee, all one had to do was hang around Village Hall until 5:01pm and watch who (didn't) come in.

Boy oh boy, you're just full of conspiracy theories, aren't you. I just keep my eyes (and my mind) open. You might try it sometime. Use the force.

Anonymous said...

sov is not Alex. Why on earth would anyone need to spy on Village to see what candidates file papers? Are you GOBs really that worried? Why should you be worried since you think you do everything perfectly? Get a grip.

Don't forget Village Cafe where we can hear more of what Village has planned.

Anonymous said...

Chop, chop, Mr. Photogenic. Hope you're recording the Board Meeting tomorrow night. Keep on doing your part and saving the Village money. YEAH ALEX.

Anonymous said...

I think there are others who speak at Village Board meetings a lot more than Alex. I for one appreciate the videos. Thanks Alex for saving money for the Village; an act they can't seem to perform by themselves.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Thanks last anonymous for your comments -- keep them coming.
I think we all have to say what we feel needs to be said. After all it is our right, and also after all we 'paid for that microphone'.
I will continue to make my citizens comments when I feel that they are warranted, and I also hope everyone else who speak more or less often than I do, do also.

Anonymous said...

I still say this whole thing is a little nuts. My God, give it a rest and lets talk about something else.

The election is over.

PleasantPrairieWI said...

Last anonymous,

You reveal (like most) a lot by what you don't say as much as by what you do say.

I don't know who you are and what your motivation is, but the political cycle is not just limited to "election time" and "everything in between where everything is nice-nice".

Yes, the 2007 elections ARE over. The 2008 elections are a done deal.

BUT, this does not mean that everyone has to sit by and repeat the mantra "everything is great just follow Pollocoff blindly".

Frankly, I continue to bothered by an elected body of 5 members that rarely has any opinion independent or 'sinfully' contrary to what the great OZ 'recommends'. Again, why have the board at all?

Sure, the elections of 2007 and 2008 ARE OVER, but it is especially during these in between times that citizen activism and attention is critical.

Remember: It's supposed to be a government of the people, by the people (not bought by the PAC).

Village People said...

To get away from anonymous-ha ha!

Anonymous said...

The board meetings are no longer about conducting business. They are just about approving things that seem to have been pre-determined. Very much a figurehead board now.